Sorting Through the Chaos

Shooting is always the easy part. But picking which photos to keep, and which to cull? That’s where I lose hours. Days.

Aphantasia means that I don’t have a mind’s eye. That is, no ability to visualise my memories or imagination. I talk sometimes about photographs being the visual archive for my memory. It’s one of the reasons I tend to overshoot. Looking through the photos, I don’t just see images, I feel the whole night playing back.

There are details - memories - in every shot that I want to keep. A trace of light on someone’s cheek, the way two performers laugh with each other in the wings, or just the way I remember the room buzzing when I hit the shutter.

But a photobook, like memory, can’t hold on to everything. It needs shape, rhythm. Some photos are beautiful on their own, but don’t fit the story. Others aren’t technically perfect, but they carry the exact feeling I want people to remember. Those are the ones I hang on to. 

I keep asking myself: does this photo belong to the book, or is it just for me? Sometimes that answer stings. But the process is less about finding “the best” photos and more about letting the story tell me what it needs. And perhaps everyone edits their memories in the end?

Floor to ceiling photos, 11 August 2025.

Overwhelmed by grief and choices, 11 August 2025.